Who decides "Ugly"?
So my friends have very different ideas and views on many different things of life. I think its mainly because we are all from different countries and by coming here to the US we have different ways of thinking that are influenced by both the Western culture and our own.
This past weekend we were having a very interesting and loud discussion/argument at a very public place (for those of you who know us, this is normal :D) This was the topic
Who decides if someone is ugly? Is there a standard for being ugly-
Now because I was a part of this conversation and had very strong opinions about the side that I was supporting, this blog is going to be a little biased. But I will try my best to stay neutral when presenting both arguments-
This is what the guys were saying-
It is true that everyone has a perception of beauty- but if you show a picture of a pretty girl and a really ugly girl to 100 guys it is a guarantee that at least 98% of the guys will agree on the same decision of who is ugly and who is not. Now as an example if you give than a picture of Jessica Alba and Jennifer Aniston of course people wouldn't know who to choose because they are both "pretty" but if you give them a picture of Jessica and some other "ugly" girl (no example, as apparently they do not know any ugly people : p) everyone would choose Jessica.
The deciding factor of ugly and pretty is an invisible line that most guys know about. Now this line may vary a little bit according to the individual, but for the most part this information is well understood and in practise with most guys (?)
The appreance and personality is not connected when you see someone on a picture.
Now here is what the girls said and of course the winning argument
Everyone has their own perception of beauty. This of course is influence by culture, they way each individual is brought up, but for the most part everyone has very different ideas of who is ugly and who is not. And I am right when I say for most women, prettiness is not only the outer appearance, but the beauty with in.
Of course now if the woman has had an injury and has scars all over the face and has a defect in the face, OK maybe that would be considered ugly (by some people). But the world has moved on to a place where people are advanced enough to understand that beauty is deep with in.
So I promised them that I will blog about this. I had to go and do some research about this online. I found many many different discussion about if being pretty or ugly has a standard and about how being pretty=being confident. Pretty much the whole argument that we were having. I found some interesting articles too. Like this one: Ugly Meter: The 59p iPhone app that tells you how good-looking (or not) you are
This is an iPhone application that gives you a rating from 10 according to your face structure. the higher the score the uglier you are.
Having the perfect structure/being symmetrical is not a standard for being pretty. The fact that someone's nose is small may be pretty to some and ugly to others. Every one has a different way defining appearance.
I also found it interesting that most of the blogs that were named: How do you know if you are ugly- were posted by young teenage girls in high school. And almost all of them start with the opening line of "I am a junior in high school and I have always been insecure about being ugly". Almost like saying " I know I am insecure but tell me that I am not". Well maybe that says something like- how about some counseling for you!
The other topic that I found hilarious was "Do they know that they are ugly" and surprisingly most of these discussions were posted by men- maybe the stereotype of men not caring about how people looked (unless they are dating them) is a myth?
But on a more serious note I personally think this a big issue. The idea of beauty really does lie with in someones personality (unless you have a nose where your eye is supposed to be!). This message should be communicated to all young girls and boys out there. Yes, ofcourse you judge someone by the first impression, meaning judge by how they look and what they wear. But this is all different. There willalways be someone who will love your big nose.
So I'm sticking to my opinion.. unless someone shows me a logical reasoning behind this so called invisible line of ugliness
This past weekend we were having a very interesting and loud discussion/argument at a very public place (for those of you who know us, this is normal :D) This was the topic
Who decides if someone is ugly? Is there a standard for being ugly-
Now because I was a part of this conversation and had very strong opinions about the side that I was supporting, this blog is going to be a little biased. But I will try my best to stay neutral when presenting both arguments-
This is what the guys were saying-
It is true that everyone has a perception of beauty- but if you show a picture of a pretty girl and a really ugly girl to 100 guys it is a guarantee that at least 98% of the guys will agree on the same decision of who is ugly and who is not. Now as an example if you give than a picture of Jessica Alba and Jennifer Aniston of course people wouldn't know who to choose because they are both "pretty" but if you give them a picture of Jessica and some other "ugly" girl (no example, as apparently they do not know any ugly people : p) everyone would choose Jessica.
The deciding factor of ugly and pretty is an invisible line that most guys know about. Now this line may vary a little bit according to the individual, but for the most part this information is well understood and in practise with most guys (?)
The appreance and personality is not connected when you see someone on a picture.
Now here is what the girls said and of course the winning argument
Everyone has their own perception of beauty. This of course is influence by culture, they way each individual is brought up, but for the most part everyone has very different ideas of who is ugly and who is not. And I am right when I say for most women, prettiness is not only the outer appearance, but the beauty with in.
Of course now if the woman has had an injury and has scars all over the face and has a defect in the face, OK maybe that would be considered ugly (by some people). But the world has moved on to a place where people are advanced enough to understand that beauty is deep with in.
So I promised them that I will blog about this. I had to go and do some research about this online. I found many many different discussion about if being pretty or ugly has a standard and about how being pretty=being confident. Pretty much the whole argument that we were having. I found some interesting articles too. Like this one: Ugly Meter: The 59p iPhone app that tells you how good-looking (or not) you are
This is an iPhone application that gives you a rating from 10 according to your face structure. the higher the score the uglier you are.
Having the perfect structure/being symmetrical is not a standard for being pretty. The fact that someone's nose is small may be pretty to some and ugly to others. Every one has a different way defining appearance.
I also found it interesting that most of the blogs that were named: How do you know if you are ugly- were posted by young teenage girls in high school. And almost all of them start with the opening line of "I am a junior in high school and I have always been insecure about being ugly". Almost like saying " I know I am insecure but tell me that I am not". Well maybe that says something like- how about some counseling for you!
The other topic that I found hilarious was "Do they know that they are ugly" and surprisingly most of these discussions were posted by men- maybe the stereotype of men not caring about how people looked (unless they are dating them) is a myth?
But on a more serious note I personally think this a big issue. The idea of beauty really does lie with in someones personality (unless you have a nose where your eye is supposed to be!). This message should be communicated to all young girls and boys out there. Yes, ofcourse you judge someone by the first impression, meaning judge by how they look and what they wear. But this is all different. There willalways be someone who will love your big nose.
So I'm sticking to my opinion.. unless someone shows me a logical reasoning behind this so called invisible line of ugliness
Interesting topic. I wish I had been there to listen to all this.
ReplyDeleteHere's my theory, and the only reason you might not agree with it is because you define your terms differently.
Beauty is a real, measurable, objective thing. It's based on proportions and symmetry like you mentioned.
Fortunately or unfortunately, beauty means very little in human life.
What matters to human beings is attraction. How much you are attracted to someone is based on beauty as well as several other psychological characteristics. Personality is definitely one of the other major ones. How someone else makes you "feel". Or the chemistry between two people. And, of course, this isn't just limited to between a romantic couple. It dictates business relationships, familial relationships, etc. Only the weighting of the different characteristics change depending on the kind of relationship.
I don't know if you came across this in your research, but I read this a few weeks ago. OkCupid (the dating site) did the math on "beauty". The looked at the relationships between how "hot" someone was and how much attention they got.
Turns out there isn't a direct correlation between beauty and attraction.
Surprise surprise.
I would like to change the direction of the topic, because conversation in Jessica's was not concerned on the defining "beauty" overall, but it was targeting a particular part of it, such as APPEARANCE.
ReplyDeleteThere might an invisible line or undefined criteria that influences person's evaluation of someone's appearance . And this line/criteria with its own margin, for all men is the same. We say (Diego and I), that if you take a sample of 100 men and you show them pictures of two females, one "Hot"(Jessica Alba, for example) and the other one "Not" (Filipinia, neighbor from second floor that noone likes), there is at least 90% chance that everyone would choose miss Alba as "Beautiful".
Let's not talk about beauty overall: inner soul, intelligence or other factors. Those aspects could affect overall beauty of a person, to which we get attracted.
Please, consider only Appearance! Is there a defined, invisible line (criteria) above which we consider person "Hot" and below "Not"? And if there is one, is this line the same (with certain margins) for all men?
I just read this blog and must say that I found it to be very interesting and amusing at the same time. While reading it I found myself agreeing with all of you, but at the same time wondering whether the discussion was about total beauty or just appearance. Fortunately Maxim cleared that up for me. If it is criteria for total beauty than I will have to agree with Sachie … however, after reading Maxim’s response and finding out that the discussion was only about appearance, I must conclude that Maxim has a better argument. The fact is that inner beauty cannot be judged by appearance and therefore cannot influence your judgment of someone’s appearance.
ReplyDeleteMaxim did have a question that did remain unanswered at the end. I quote: “Is there a defined, invisible line (criteria) above which we consider person "Hot" and below "Not"? And if there is one, is this line the same (with certain margins) for all men?”
Whether there is a line or not I cannot say, but there is one thing I’m quite certain of. Beauty of appearance is not measured with the same criteria by all men. We all measure beauty by our own criteria. I will give you a few examples.
In the orients there is a certain places where they bind the feet of young girls. By doing so they deform the feet of their women forcing their feet to remain small. This is found to be beautiful in their culture.
In some African tribes women’s lips are cut and a large plate is put in their lips. I would call this maiming, but they would call this putting on some make-up. In this tribe they judge appearance by the largeness of the plate in their lips. Whoever has the biggest plate in her lip is found to be the most beautiful.
In some Western cultures skinny women (and with skinny I mean women who are close to anorexia) are considered to be extremely beautiful. I dare say that you wouldn’t agree with that statement Maxim.
So I must conclude that not everyone has the same criteria for judging appearances. You might have the same criteria as the people closest to you. People that raised you, grew up with you, experienced life with you. But your criteria can certainly not be the same ass all men. Not even all men who live in America have the same criteria.
The criteria for judging appearance is (in my opinion) linked to your own particular tasted. Some men like blonds and some men like brunets. Others like redheads. Some men like larger women and others like skinny girls. It all depends on your own particular taste.
I agree with Mehdi Taheri.
ReplyDeleteI read a book name The Troll King. In this book, the characters see beauty in dark, misshape and disproportional features.
I think that beauty is more complicated than hotness and sexiness.
I think hotness and sexiness is more of a public opinion. (Where, we can’t disagree that Jessica A is hot or sexy).
But, Beauty to me is more personal. (Where yes I know Jessica is hot, but she is just not my type. On the other hand Abdusy neighbor Filipinia have something that I can’t explain but I feel attracted to her)
LOL dude I gotta see this neighbor! :D
ReplyDeleteDavid (aFro)
ReplyDeleteI'm looking forward to meet this neighboor ofcourse after a couple drinks...jk